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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am aware that I sound crazy, but here it goes...

My mom had a stillborn a few years before I was born, but I always had a feeling that she was still out there. I think one reason I've always been suspicious is that my mom was very healthy. She birthed a 10 pound baby before the stillborn and two breech babies after. Also, my parents were extremely distrustful of that hospital. Even though it was right down the street, my parents would always drive 45 miles to the next hospital instead. They never said why they refused to go there. Makes me wonder what happened there. AND I recently heard about a hospital in the same region that allegedly sold babies after telling the parents it died. So that really got me thinking about it.

How would I go about researching this? I don't even know the date of birth. My parents do not like talking about it so I hate to ask them. [/quote]

This post literally makes me ill.

I am very healthy, as were (and are) all my living children. My live births each weighed 10 pounds, no gestational diabetes, very healthy. My living children were delivered vaginally, one with no interventions whatsoever.

Nevertheless, one of my babies was stillborn. Although the hospital in which I delivered that baby had nothing whatsoever to do with her death and handled my case with a great deal of sensitivity, I never wanted to enter the doors of that hospital again (and never have). It is a terrible thing to labor and deliver a dead baby. Terrible.

Your fixation with this borders on obscene.

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PP, this is not about you.  I am sorry for your loss but it's not at all surprising the OP has questions about this that preoccupy her.  This was her sibling.

OP, my sibling died in somewhat mysterious circumstances so I sympathize with the uncertainty you're wrestling with.  I also sympathize with not wanting to ask your parents for information.  I do wonder if there is a death certificate.  There may also have been an autopsy and you could contact the coroner in that area and see if they have suggestions (they may no longer have the records but could still make recommendations).

I also think it's ok to bite the bullet and ask your parents.  This is your story too, your history, and you have a right to know.  It does not belong only to them. I also think the benefit to you from knowing outweighs the harm to them from being upset by your asking (and who knows if they really would be).

You may also want to check out the book The Empty Room about sibling loss.  It's excellent and focuses a lot on sibling loss that occurred when the surviving siblings were very young (and in one case before their birth).  I think it might be helpful for you and healing.
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