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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sheesh.  This guy's wife doesn't even "let" him hug her when he offers.  I really can't understand why everyone is jumping on him.  She sounds verbally abusive, withholding, and cold.  I don't care if he sucks as an earner.  Whatever happend to for richer or for poorer?  Nobody is promised financial success forever.  So he took some risks and she has to work.  Big whoop.  I have to work, most of us have to work.  That's no excuse to be verbally abusive and to withhold even the most basic of physical contact, a hug.  [/quote]

I think this is where we have to acknowledge that we don't know the whole picture, only the portion of it that OP wants to present. If he's been working his ass off the past several years rebuilding his business with good, logical reason to believe he was just about back from the brink, only to face unexpected set-backs, that would be one thing. On the other hand, if this was a business that clearly was not going to be viable again and OP's just been engaging Peter Pan fantasies rather than getting a job, that's a different story. You could come up with different scenarios for just about every aspect of OP's story that favor either him or the wife, and we don't know which are true. All we know that is this is the version OP has chosen to share, which means it's probably the version that spins things as sympathetically as possible toward OP.[/quote]

This is true of pretty much every post about a relationship.

When I read them, I try to think about it like this. The OP is upset because he perceives the situation to be as described. Maybe he's glossing over things. Maybe he's favoring himself. Either way, his portrayal of what he believes the situation to be is relevant to his state of mind. If his feeling is that she is unfair, why does he feel that way? Is he misinterpreting her actions? Is he correctly interpreting her actions but refusing to admit that they are justified? Is he right that she is being unfair? It seems like he is ascribing a lot of motivation to a woman who does not communicate well with him. It's possible that even he doesn't know how she actually feels. Counseling would be good, for them both, but it sounds like the OP already decided that his wife wouldn't be into that and discarded it as an idea.[/quote]

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