Reply to Potty training strategies that do not involve bribery or rewards?

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[quote=Anonymous]One thing I believe Alfie Kohn absolutely does get right is this idea that parents [b]SHOULDN'T FEEL THE [/b]need to push their kids to achieve achieve achieve, and that parents themselves feel failure or blame/worry if their child doesn't reach certain milestones early or on time.  In the case of potty training, it's definitely important not to shame or get angry at a child for peeing or pooping on themselves.  Just treat it matter of factly, and if a child expresses distress or embarrassment, assure them that it's okay, accidents happen, and you love them no matter what.

It's also important that providing a treat as a reward or incentive doesn't actually turn into a mean-spirited punishment, e.g., "Well, you won't get an m&m for that!" or even "No m&m for you!"  The best is really when potty successes and accidents happen in an atmosphere of unconditional love, no matter what.  Good humor, cuddles, and reassurance go a long way, poop in or out of the pot. :)

To start, we provided our child an m&m every time they sat on the potty, even if nothing came out, along with lots of encouragement and positive emotion of course. The goal was to just associate potty time with a good time.  Then came peeing: one for sitting, two for peeing.  Then pooping: two for pooping.  Praise for sitting and praise for eliminating.

Accidents were met with consolation and cheerful "Let's clean it up and get back to playing!"[/quote][/quote]

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