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[quote=Anonymous]For some time I thought my husband's "low sex drive" was a reflection on me, or that I was the cause, the problem, the reason he didn't want to have sex with me (and had trouble maintaining an erection or achieving orgasm when we did have sex).  Then I decided that it was due to his medications for depression and anxiety, and his other health issues.  Then I learned that neither of those things were the primary cause, when I found out my husband had been having sex with prostitutes for many years.

A part of this piece on sexual anorexia describes my sex addict husband pretty well: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-lies-trauma/201408/sexual-anorexia-the-shadow-addiction My husband was a sexual anorexic within our marriage - he withheld sex and any kind of sexual intimacy from me, refused to address or even discuss the issue, etc.  At the same time, he compulsively researched (online), sought and had sex with prostitutes - which wasn't "fun" for him, but rather full of shame and self-hatred.  As he described it, he'd go through periods of not acting on the compulsion, actively trying to avoid giving in, and then another period of stress would result in the acting out again.

I'm not suggesting here that other men with seemingly low drives are acting out sexually as my husband was/is, but I thought the concept of sexual anorexia might be interesting for some to read, particularly if one feels there may be more of a sexual intimacy factor at play.[/quote]

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