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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Aren't you happy he works so much? Find a way to contract out as much of your family life as possible. Develop your own close relationships outside of marriage.[/quote]

Huh?  How will having no family life possibly lead a couple to happiness?  [/quote]

It will lead her to individual happiness. I know, because that's the path I took.[/quote]

OP here.  This doesn't sound happy.  If the only way to get along with him is to lead a completely separate life as if he doesn't exist, then I might as well divorce him.  I am not even sure how cutting him out of my life would work, even if we were divorced, because we have kids.[/quote]

The reason it's better is you don't have to give him half the money, you still have a lot of control over your kids' lives and you can spend your leisure time in ways that make you happy, instead of dealing with him in your little spare time.[/quote]

OP here.  You do have a point here.  I am still going to hold out hope for my marriage that it does not come to this.  Change is hard, but it starts with acknowledgment.  I acknowledge that I can be cold and harsh and resentful and have workaholic tendencies.  I was attracted to DH's gentleness, his little boy way of wearing all his feelings on his sleeve, his need to be loved, and his ability to love.  I am still attracted to all of those traits now.  Even all these years later, I love little more than to see him working on his tan on vacation all stretched out like a big cat.  He is a Leo and boy does he know how to enjoy life.  But I also resent the dark side of DH.  The feeling that he is above the petty details of life, that suspicion that he sees me as a minion whose job is to sort things out for him.  We have a lot to address, but I do love this man and I am devoted to my family.  I know what I need to change about myself, but I need help doing so.  For my babies and my husband, I am willing to fight hard to change.  I believe DH is willing to change too.  We just don't know how to stop being who we are.  Gottman and therapy, here we come.[/quote]

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