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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone for the support.  I think my worry has to do
with the stigma attached to bad family dynamics.  My MIL has made slick comments and I have noticed that people tend to think that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Has anyone else noticed the stigma?[/quote]

Yes, I've noticed the stigma and I don't outwardly respond to it. I do make a mental note of the people making the comments that they are not people that should be in my inner circle. They never really know it because I still remain friendly and am nice to them but I would never let them know of any of my plans in advance or tell them of any problems I was having in my life. They have shown themselves to be quick to judgment, so I don't need them close.

I used to really worry that the bad family dynamics was my fault and people would view it as such. But once I made peace with the fact that I can't change everyone else and can only control myself, I learned to ignore it and NOT go into detail with people about my family life.It is not that I am ashamed of it or hiding it but it is no one's business. Just like I wouldn't have people review my medical records or bank accounts because it is none of their business, my family dynamics is none of their business.

When people would ask (we are no longer estranged btw), how my parents are doing, I would say something generic, like they are great, still in good health, or they are well, getting closer to retirment. These are just facts and no need to reveal any messy details.[/quote]

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