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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Thanks everyone for the support. I think my worry has to do with the stigma attached to bad family dynamics. My MIL has made slick comments and I have noticed that people tend to think that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Has anyone else noticed the stigma?
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I think (hope) age and distance will help you through this.  Violence, addiction, suicide and other negative behaviors was/is rampant in my family of origin.  I moved 600 miles away right after college and never moved back.  DH's family is from this area and he present his childhood as if it were right out of 'Leave it to Beaver'.  I know his family had a lot of concerns about me but I'm lucky that I've got a strong resilient streak (as I imagine you do) and I drew up on the strength of my experiences.  Nothing could be worse than what I went through.  I overcame it.  I had to take a lot of shit growing up but I'm not taking anyone's shit now that I have a choice.  If someone thinks the fruit doesn't far from the tree, fuck them.  They clearly have limited life experience that they can't imagine someone overcoming a challenge.  It's all about the ability to craft the life you want and deserve.

But, having said all that, it took me a long time to stop trying to 'keep the secret'.  I was well trained from childhood to try and hide what was going on at home.  That may also be contributing to your 'shame'.  You have nothing to be ashamed of and you'd be surprised how common our experience is.  Hugs.[/quote]

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