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[quote=Anonymous]I think you are being totally reasonable, sex is a really important part of being human (or any animal really) it is completely unfair to both refuse to even attempt to meet your partner's sexual needs and forbid them from fulfilling their needs elsewhere. So I have two lines of advice: continue trying to improve your sex life and work towards opening up your marriage.

You may have already tried this considering you've been working on this for so long, but I think you should change your approach. Don't talk about how your unsatisfied or how he has a problem, just make it fun and positive. Introduce new fun ideas (like first you can use your mouth on him, then he can use mouth and toys on you, then he can do a second round of penetration on you which should last longer since it's his second round, but even if it doesn't hopefully you will already feel more satisfied), introduce cock rings or numbing gel, send him dirty texts and ask him to take care of himself first (also discuss his fantasies and cater to those). The point is to keep it positive and fun. I dated a guy who was 24 with some ED issues, but it really all came from him worrying about it, after a while of keeping things positive he was able to get out of his head and overcome it.

I would also try to keep things positive in regards to opening up the marriage (don't approach it like you refuse to seek help so I need to go elsewhere) instead start dropping hints like "oh did you hear there's this new trend of couples being 'monogomish,"' read some savage love columns to him about open relationships, show him some websites and news articles about the benefits and how to set up rules so that couples don't feel hurt. Slowly ease him into the idea, this is how I approached it with my husband and he's amazingly been quite open to it though haven't actually tried anything outside of our marriage yet.

If none of that works I guess I would go for the affair route still before divorce, it really is a shame to break up a family over it, but this is an understandable need. Good luck OP I feel for you![/quote]

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