Reply to In shock - he cheated

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[quote=Anonymous]I am so sorry you are going through this.

The thing you really need to search your soul over, perhaps with a therapists help, is can *you* move past this. That is the thing about trust - once its tarnished it is just never the same. Can you truly let go what happened and feel secure in your relationship? Its a rare person who can. I've seen it eat away at friends in this situation when they decided to stay and the issue always seemed to haunt them.

You are lucky in the sense that you haven't invested years and years here and there are no children. The fact that he felt it was okay to cheat because you were long distance is a red flag. The fact that he was with an "old flame" shows that he falls back on what is easy and familiar. These are the type of choices he will make when the going gets tough. When sex is not what he expects. What about after a baby does come and sex slows down for a bit? Will he tell himself its okay to cheat again? He is okay with lying and sneaking. He is okay with hurting and betraying. He is showing you his character here, is this something you can live with for the long haul?

You can only control your behavior and your actions here. [/quote]

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