Reply to In shock - he cheated

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "In shock - he cheated"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have been in your situation.  If you have no kids, I would advise you to end the relationship.  Your gut is telling you this anyway -- it is processing far more information than your brain.  Follow your gut.

This kind of deception and need to be stroked by outsiders isn't something that just ends overnight.  Your DH has given you "reasons" that seem to shift the blame to you (long distance, etc.).

What I have learned in the years since discovering my ex's extensive flirtations and affairs of all varieties is that 1) what you know is still only the tip of the iceberg and 2)  the ability to behave this way is indicative of a serious lack of character 3) remorse doesn't change the underlying character defects and 4)  you have a right to live with someone who will treat you more honorably.

I am amazed, in the years since my relationship ended, to discover the myriad of ways I was allowing others excuses to diminish my life.  I thought I was being "flexible" and "compromising" and dealing with the "realities of life".  In the end what I realized is that there are good people out there.  If you pay attention to their actions and not their words, you will see easily who is worth your time and affection.

Your husband, sorry to say, is not worthy.

P.S., I strongly disagree with PPs who say that you must learn to "trust" and not ask for full transparency/access on social media, email, etc.  Trust is earned, not blindly given.  Your husband had your trust, lost it and now must earn it back thru his actions not his words.  Full transparency, complete honesty, and a real commitment thru extensive therapy to look inward at the character defects that made this situation possible are the actions you should be looking for.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics