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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was 12 when they split. For many years it didn't matter to me, but now that I have kids I wish there was a big family Christmas/Easter/whatever at Grandma's house like I had. Lots of aunts, uncles, cousins. All on good terms, no drama or weirdness.

^^
OP, please understand that almost no one actually has this.  My parents and my spouse's parents are married and trust me, there is no great family holiday where everyone is on good terms and there is no drama or weirdness!  If that's how you remember your childhood before age 12, I'm guessing the adults were hiding the drama and bad terms from you.  Yes, divorce creates problems, but so do tons of other issues -- mental health, financial problems, resentments, inheiritances, percieved inequities, disagreements over who is making the freaking turkey, new SILs refusal to allow her kid to eat non-organic, etc, etc.  [b]Most family gatherings are one degree from boiling over. [/b] You are idealizing what you do not have.  [/quote]

I'm sorry, but no they are not. [/quote]

+1.  My DH has a lovely family with many happy gatherings, and it often makes me wistful to think of what my parents and all of us could have had, if they had been willing to work on their marriage.[/quote]

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