Reply to IL's and religious issues

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've found that fundamentalist, or at least very religious people, have a favorite topic: religion. Your husband may be bombarded with this on a daily basis. He's obviously not going to cut mom and dad out of his life. He doesn't hate them. They may have been nice parents and decent people as far as he's concerned.

That said, do you know if your husband has weekly/daily conversations on his own with his parents, ie does he call them during lunch or while running errands? I ask because it sounds like he's not necessarily very close to them, nor would he choose them over you, but he's still under their very powerful religious thumb. He's intimidated by them. Yes, you do have a husband problem here, but try to see him in the light of someone who was raised in a strict religious household, or someone raised in a controlling cult. It takes years, decades, to break away or to just learn to think independently. Do you know if they're calling/emailing/texting him about the need for his kids to be true Catholics and for him and his heretic wife to get with the program already-- or else their kids are going to head down a horrible path? My own uber-Catholic mother tries to remind me outside of my own DH's presence about scheduling a baptism already for the grandkids and "giving them the gifts" of Catholicism and the love of Jesus. She gets offensive or at least very passive aggressive at times, saying my kids will end up being victims of all kinds of things and how people without a strong religious background end up joining cults because they have nothing to begin with.

Again, you may not know what is really going on. They see him as their poor good son being led astray but this pushy woman who rejects Catholicism. And with rejecting Catholicism, you're rejecting THEM and what they stand for. Overly religious people have their identities wrapped up in their religion. Would be funny to ask them what they consider themselves first and foremost: Americans, Irish/German/Spanish/whatever-Americans, Democrats, Republicans, or Catholics. I know my parents would say Catholic first if push came to shove.

Your husband can try all he wants to push you around verbally. He does it because he can't push them around. They've got a hold on him and he's frustrated. It's their last stand with their boy. He left, he went off to school, found work and independence and got married. He's out of their clutches, and now, they have one final thing to influence him on and that's religion. You never know, they may have suggested that they'd cut him out of their will if he doesn't get with the Catholic program and give his kids the gift of the One True Church. They sound desperate enough.

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