Reply to Female friendship...confide and be close, achieve/receive good things, get cut off, rinse and repeat

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Reply to "Female friendship...confide and be close, achieve/receive good things, get cut off, rinse and repeat"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks, OP, for posting this. My kids and one of DH's friends asked me why I don't have any friends. Frankly, I've stopped trying to figure out whether it's them or me. I really don't want to dwell on it. I've also stopped trying to forge close friendships. I've tried in the past and the rejection is pretty painful, particularly from the ones that cut off all contact without any kind of explanation.

There have even been a few women at church or my kid's school that have started conversations with me in the past or  introduced themselves only later to act like they don't know me or have ever seen me before. I honestly don't get it.

I think men have it so much easier with friends. They are much more forgiving of each other. And I think women are much more forgiving of men than they are of other women. [/quote]

I definitely can relate. I have lived in the US, UK and Asia for the last 15 years. US is the only place where consistently people would act friendly and start a conversation with me, and then the next time act like they don't know me. Perhaps they are just being friendly the first time. But in the UK and Asia, if they don't care about you, they just don't talk to you. But once they do, they don't act like they don't know me the next time.  [/quote]

This has been my experience as well, feeling like you always stuck in first base. I often wonder why people are always so depressed here even though they have access to all the luxuries of the modern world. And why are people from less developed counties can often be happier. I really think it's the value and effort put forth in interpersonal interactions. There's a lack of real intimacy here sometimes. And pp you're right, unlike anything I've experience in other places, people will come up to you friendly and seemingly interested in you just to completely treat like they've never laid eyes on you the next time you meet. That often mystify me. 
[/quote]

Hahaha! I'm guessing you've never lived in Denmark?  Very insular culture. Outsiders? Forget about it.

Personally, I don't have problems meeting and keeping good friends, though I will admit I only have the bandwidth foe my 4 very close friends the rest are less deep relationships. What I really enjoy much are our family friends. Other couples with kids our age who whrn we get together the kids raise hell while the parents drink wine on the deck. Through out kids sports we've met some incredible families and live for the weekends.[/quote]

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