Reply to Appropriate Punishment for Lying?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Resurrecting this thread. My 11.5 yo lied about doing his home work then tried to hide the poor grades on his homework as a result of his lying, slacking off lifestyle the past two weeks.

I just discovered all of this before he left for school this morning. He's a normally a straight A student or at least capable of being a straight A student, so I'm not too worried about longterm grade consequences. However, I am worried about long term damage to the child-parent relationship because he's definitely entering the tween/teen finding his independence years.

So, my question is: How does he suffer consequences while we are on spring break next week? I mean really? Do I make everyone suffer while he sits on the plane for 3 hours with no iTouch to listen to music or watch movies, etc?

I am more pissed about the lying than the grades. Want him to realize the seriousness, but also don't want to go over board on "punishment" while we are all supposed to be relaxing and enjoying ourselves.

Thoughts?[/quote]

I tend to be a very logical consequence type parent. My approach would be, basically, no "punishment" on spring break EXCEPT to the extent that his lying damaged your trust in him and might make you hesitant to allow him certain privileges, depending on your vacation plans and how much independence you are still comfortable granting him. In terms of consequences or punishments, in our home that would just be changes/restrictions to the homework routine for a period of time.

Homework is required to be done to the honest best of our kids' abilities -- if we can't trust them not to slack off and turn in poorly done work or no work at all, then they clearly need more supervision of their homework time to make sure they're meeting standards as verified by us since they decided to lie about it and thus we can't trust them to monitor their own work right now. Mandatory supervised study hall at the kitchen table, for slightly longer than just their homework would usually take them meaning they also have to study with any time left over.

The above presumes I have rules about homework that are known to my kids in advance, which I do only through elementary school. In middle school, individual homework assignments and daily grades are my kids' business to manage but we require them to be carrying a class grade of B or higher in each class at the end of each month. By high school, we only have grade requirements quarterly and if they can get B grades or above at that check in we don't worry about grades on individual assignments and just let them manage their grades themselves.[/quote]

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