Reply to Why so much hate for the OW?

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Reply to "Why so much hate for the OW?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It's always complicated.

It's really easy to say "People cheat because they are sociopaths who don't care about anything but their own gratification." Cheaters justify their actions in any number of ways. Sometimes the justification of "I was not getting what I needed from my marriage and I found it somewhere else" is not a bunch of bullshit. Marriages fail and fall apart with and without cheating all the time.

The vitriol directed at the other woman is almost always protective, though. Setting the OW up to be this complete vixen who lured your husband away maybe staves off the feeling of "Why wasn't I good enough for him?" that will almost certainly come when someone you love betrays you. Placing the blame on the OW makes it easier to justify (to yourself and others) your decision to try to work on the marriage.

I don't blame the wronged spouse for those feelings. They are completely valid. But I do think that many times, the anger directed at the OW is actually a stand in for something else. It's just a lot easier to hate someone you never loved.[/quote]

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