Reply to Why so much hate for the OW?

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Reply to "Why so much hate for the OW?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People with good character don't sleep with married men.

Justify it all you want. The other woman lacks integrity and is disrespecting the family just like the husband is.[/quote]

This is it. It isn't either/or - both shoulder blame. Remember the golden rule.[/quote]
The Golden Rule is flawed.

There is no question of integrity when no promises have been made. OW doesn't owe you any respect. It is pointless to expect it.[/quote]

This is incorrect.  Marriage is not simply a private institution, it is also a public/civic one.  That is why the government recognizes it legally.  Indeed, being the OW or OM was traditionally actionable at common law, although that action is largely not viable anymore in the age of no-fault divorce.  Still, I think most would agree that people have some level of civic duty not to damage the marriages of others.

I don't understand why it is controversial that both parties in this situation have done something wrong.[/quote]

I guess because OW only does wrong by herself. The cheating husband does wrong by his whole family.

I am for one sick and tired of women being blamed for everything from cheating to rape. Husbands cheat, because they want to cheat, not because OW controls anything. I don't understand why this is controversial. I agree this may be a feat of self-defense by wives who can't make it on their own and have to reconcile with a cheating husband. Shifting the blame to OW and picturing DH as an innocent victim makes it possible. [/quote]

That is not very nuanced.  Certainly the cheating husband has done something worse than OW, and I don't think it is really disputed by anyone that cheating on your spouse is wrong.  But that does not mean the OW bears no culpability for her part in it.  Indeed, I think saying the OW is blameless is really denying her any moral agency in the matter.  It takes two to tango, and so I think both are to blame except in circumstances where the wayward spouse has lied by saying the marriage is effectively over, etc.  [/quote]

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