Reply to Mom wants to quit her job, sell her house, and move in with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Between this thread and several others about teenaged and adult children and their often strained relationships with their mothers, I must say I am so disheartened at what lies ahead in this culture as I "age out" as a mother. There is no respect, no kindness, just avoidance and blame. Aren't you all mothers? Aren't we all doing the best we can do, and can't we realize that, for the most part, our mothers did, too?

I know that everyone's life and circumstances are different, but I would have loved it if my mother had been able to move in with us. Instead she died way too young of an awful and aggressive cancer. I'm still reeling from that loss, and now with a 14yo DD I am beginning to experience the pain of losing her too as she develops her own identity. All of this is natural; babies are born, kids grow up, and parents die--I get that. But why do mothers get such a bad rap?[/quote]

It sounds like you were fortunate enough to grow up with an emotionally healthy mother. Not everyone is so lucky.  If you've never lived with a difficult person, you likely have no idea how miserable an experience it can be.  I might have had feelings similar to yours, had I not encountered my dh's family and learned about personality disorders and how they affect people and their families.  It's worlds apart from living with emotionally healthy people with run-of-the-mill grievances. [/quote]

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