Reply to Sibling's DUI: tell our parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She claims she will go to AA, etc. all the stuff you would want to hear. But in my opinion, talk is cheap. Who knows if she will really follow through? I feel like she nearly needs an intervention, and even that might not help. [/quote]

If you think she has a drinking problem and needs an intervention, why are you enabling her by bailing her out on this DUI?[/quote]

[b]I guess if helping her pay for a lawyer is enabling, then yes, I'm enabling her[/b]. I don't see how her losing her job and potentially losing her kids is going to help.

Anyway, update. I talked to her again this morning and told her I'm not telling my parents but that she needs to. They already know something is up because she sent my dad a vague text that she needs help but isn't ready to tell him why yet. So they know something bad has happened. I think she will tell them of her own accord in the next few days. [/quote]

Yes, this is textbook enabling her.  You don't have $10,000.  This is not your place to be absorbing the cost of her crime.  Losing her job and potentially losing her kids might be exactly the rock bottom that she needs in order to turn her life around and give her kids their mom back.  A job can be replaced but years can't.  If you protect her from the consequences of this crime, and she continues to drink, it's ON YOU if her kids suffer.  You made this not so bad, and she kept drinking, and now the years that the kids are suffering from an alcoholic mom are partly because of you.

Just stop.

The best thing you can do for your sister starting today is go to an Al Anon meeting.  Listen to other sisters who have been in the same situation with their sisters and who have experience, strength, and hope to share.  Listen to those who enabled and enabled and enabled because they didn't want their siblings to lose the jobs or kids....only to have their continued drinking end in job losses and heartbroken abused, neglected kids.

You are making it easier for your sister to be an alcoholic.  Don't.  It should be hard.  This should be the worst thing she ever does for as long as she lives.  DON'T make it easy now or someday it WILL be worse.  Someone will be dead or her children will be irreparably damaged.  [/quote]

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