Reply to Anniversary dinner tonight ...should I tell DH I want to leave?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a child of non-divorce and it has damaged me. I wish my parents had divorced, and now looking back it makes me sick to think that my mom spent all those years unhappy waiting for us to grown up and be on our own.
You 2 can make the split amicable and I'd be the one to move out.You'll still be there for kids and you all spend time together, but now you can be happy and maybe also him.[/quote]

I'm another child of not-soon-enough-divorce, and growing up in a household with such incredibly damaged role models conducting WW-III daily had a horrible effect on me and my siblings, and we have only partially really gotten over it.  One sibling has never gotten over it (she probably would have had issues regardless, but this was like to the Nth power).  I don't like the pat answers about 'stay together for the kids' even when they cite the evidence that in the aggregate (ie, averaged out over lots and lots of families) divorced children don't do as well: sure maybe a slight majority don't, but plenty do. Moreover, of those who don't: it's very hard to tease out whether it was the divorce, or the toxic parental relationship (which would have been there, divorce or not) that caused the damage.

Amicable - with mutual respect for each other - an attitude you put on display for your kids - divorce is often the least bad option by far.[/quote]

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