Reply to Would you view this to be a breach of trust?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely a breach of trust.  Also risky legally.  There was an article in Slate recently about recent cases with sperm donors being ordered to pay child support.  [/quote]

I was going to say: if you even need to ask whether or not it's a "breach of trust" to do something behind your wife's back when [b]you know ahead of time she will object[/b], then you've got serious issues.

Secondly - and before I married and we got pregnant, I looked into the whole donor thing from a few angles - this BS about "not legally obligated because the mother said so" is horseshit.  It's not up to the mother.  It's up to the courts and the state who represent the [b][i]child's interest[/i][/b], not the mother's and not the donor's.  Even in states where there are clear "donor exceptions" in the law, unless you have a licensed professional using ART to handle the donation, you aren't protected.  However much money the donee has, whatever contract she draws up supposedly relieving you of obligations, isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  The child can't sign such a paper, and as far as the courts (AFAIK, this is only tested in Kansas so far) are concerned the child is the person owed child support, not the custodial parent.  Many people looking for "known donors" are really people who can't afford ART and are looking to bypass that.  This need for an expensive licensed professional is what made me pull back from the idea.

So, if you want to go make a donation to a clinic, and then she goes to the clinic and picks out your sperm, and pays for ART to have the insemination done, then you might be able to hide behind donor protection laws, at least as far as child support payments are concerned.  That is still no guarantee (since the mother knows who you are) that the child will never track you down...wonder what you wife will think when the child shows up on your porch one day looking for daddy and your wife recognizes the child is your "good friend's"?  I didn't want to explain to any future wife that I maybe had a child by donation out there somewhere, and that was another reason for avoiding this.

Honestly, you're just an idiot looking for a reason to get with this woman I think.  [/quote]

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