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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A DH here.  I feel like I have 3 full-time jobs also -- the one I'm supposed to do at work, which is exhausting enough, the second performing the "normal" requirements of being a householder, husband and parent (transportation, management of finances, home upkeep, helping with homework, etc.), and then the whole third tier of managing the special needs -- the constant work on developing social cognition, assisting with struggles of child and also of spouse, etc.

Nothing irks the parent of an SN child more than others who assume one's exertions and strain are all voluntary, and that all other parents are working just as hard, all the time.  Total, complete BS.  And the proof of this lies in the occasional moments that other parents can "check out" when SN parents can't.

I'm sure other SN parents [b]have been to gatherings of family and friends where other parents are actually able to relax, have a cup of coffee, and chat, secure in their knowledge that the kids can go off and play in another room with only minimal risk -- and have no clue as to why the SN parents can't do the same. [/b] Or just send the kids off to camp for a half-day and catch a breather during that time.   Or actually have an evening date with the spouse during the first several years of childhood. SN parents simply do not get these breaks, and it is wearing.[/quote]

This. I can't sit for a cup of coffee at the coffee shop with toys and know my kid will play nicely for a minute, he will run away. I can't take my kid to the library for story time, he will run away/disrupt. I can't take my kid on a walk, etc., etc, etc. It is a whole new level of watchfulness that is truly exhausting. I have to ignore my toddler at every activity we do go to, like an indoor gym, because SN preschooler has to, literally, be tracked every second or he will hit, kick, run away. It is soul sucking. [/quote]

Hire a sitter.  Get a sanity break.  Get a teacher versed in dealing with SN to get you a date night.  This is a marathon.  If you are going to have the stamina to last it through, you need periods to recharge.  
[/quote]

What is a date night?  You are kidding right?  Very few people will take someone's special needs kid, especially like above or you pay a fortune.  So, a sitter could easily be $100+ and dinner ($30-60 - fine dining for us is Panera).  So, I could spend $100 on a sitter or $100 on a speech therapy session... sorry, speech therapy wins.[/quote]

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