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[quote=Anonymous]This is exactly how I feel, especially the last part of never being able to check out. Once last year I took my NT child out without my SN child to a birthday party and I cried all the way home for a million different reasons including relief that I could actually relax for a few hours without worrying about a child melting down, guilt that I felt that way, sadness because my SN DS could have never have enjoyed the party in the same carefree way as his sibling.

[quote=Anonymous]A DH here.  I feel like I have 3 full-time jobs also -- the one I'm supposed to do at work, which is exhausting enough, the second performing the "normal" requirements of being a householder, husband and parent (transportation, management of finances, home upkeep, helping with homework, etc.), and then the whole third tier of managing the special needs -- the constant work on developing social cognition, assisting with struggles of child and also of spouse, etc.

Nothing irks the parent of an SN child more than others who assume one's exertions and strain are all voluntary, and that all other parents are working just as hard, all the time.  Total, complete BS.  And the proof of this lies in the occasional moments that other parents can "check out" when SN parents can't.

I'm sure other SN parents have been to gatherings of family and friends where other parents are actually able to relax, have a cup of coffee, and chat, secure in their knowledge that the kids can go off and play in another room with only minimal risk -- and have no clue as to why the SN parents can't do the same.  Or just send the kids off to camp for a half-day and catch a breather during that time.   Or actually have an evening date with the spouse during the first several years of childhood. SN parents simply do not get these breaks, and it is wearing.[/quote][/quote]

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