Reply to Daughter not fitting into Girl Scout troop

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Scout Leader ~ that was a very thoughtful and sincere request for advice. I think it was a great post.

That said, I'm not sure what you can do. You can't make people be friends, You can't make people like each other. I contend you should not. Fine tuning one's radar re: people and relationships is something I actually try NOT to discourage w/my kids. I've thought they have good instincts and I don't want to interfere with that. But I also don't think they would be cruel or exclude anyone unnecessarily. And I'm guessing that all kids in a scout troop are going to be reasonable, rule-following young people generally.

I just think scouts is a model that doesn't really work.

A team, on the other hand, everyone has to work together for the good of the team, regardless of interpersonal relationships - or they're off the team or don't make the team.

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Teams, though, don't encourage tolerance for those who are less skilled or still learning. In a competitive situation, the less competent kids are expendable. That's not terribly good messaging either, IMHO.

FWIW, I had a VERY positive scouting experience. For starters, our troop leader was not a parent. And she never lectured us about being inclusive. But when she organized small group activities (or things like special dinners where we were divided among several tables according to astrological sign, or camping trips where she determined tent assignments), she broke us out of whatever groups we might form ourselves. And if she felt like someone was being excluded, she'd give them extra attention -- make them a helper, give them some sort of job that made them feel valued.

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