Reply to How to handle entitled/selfish teen?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It very much does matter why.
Parenting isn't all about laying down the law and how hard you can swing the hammer and show who is boss.
Just punishing her without  getting to the reason behind the action won't due you any good.
This is especially true if her daughter believes her mother to be showing favoritism.

Yes doing what she is doing is wrong, but taking away her phone, ipad, or having her make her siblings food isn't going to get to  root cause.

However, it will confirm her belief that her siblings are more important to her mom than she is.[/quote]

This is so wise.

I'm a school counselor in high school and I can almost guarantee that your daughter is reacting to the dynamic between you and the younger children.  It's so disheartening to come on this forum where parents act as though they've been model parents and they have bratty kids who do x, y or z and the response is to punish, punish, punish.  Why not look at how YOU are treating HER for your answer as to why she is acting out.

I know it isn't what you want to hear but that's the heart of it.[/quote]

I'm the PP whose DD went through this and I think you're wrong. First of all, natural consequences isn't quite the same thing as punishment. You take the lunch, you replace the lunch. You don't give her negative attention by talk talk talking to her.

I do not have a toddler and my DD was getting PLENTY of attention and she still helped herself to whatever she wanted. She just felt like everything in the house was her's and even though I spoke to her about it, it had become an engrained habit. It wasn't even that conscious. Oh, I'm out of shirts but I'll just wander over to Mom's room and see what works. I used to do the same thing when I was a teen. I really do think its normal. And when you create natural consequences you cause them to pause for one moment for a change and think about what they are doing. Oh yeah, if I take that lunch I'll have to replace it, its not worth it.

PP, you are overthinking this.[/quote]

Obviously I wasn't talking to you when I said punish. [/quote]

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