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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I would add a third option -- a high school, whether public or private, that allows your child to develop both academically and personally, so that by senior year he/she is not a stressed out striver whose cookie-cutter profile suggests crazed helicopter parents. I overstate to make a point...but just as you are flyspecking the high school process, treating it as a means to an end, so too do elite colleges look beyond a kid's academic potential to what they might contribute 10, 20 years into the future (financially and otherwise). The public school applicants they love are independent-minded students who have risen above chaotic, generally unsupportive environments. Conversely, private school kids with top grades and legacy parents possess an admissions advantage because they were raised in a culture of success. Both sets of kids are good bets. But in either case, authenticity is key. 
FWIW my advice is to identify the school that's the best overall fit, especially based on peer group, assuming all things are equal academically. There are so, so many forks in the road in high school. Not having the right friends and not clicking with a school's culture can throw a kid off track. All you need is a couple months of a slump to do permanent damage to your GPA! And then it's good bye Ivy Dream, hello adolescent reality.
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