Reply to Frustrated with folks who never reciprocate dinner invites

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Even if people don't like to host in their homes, they should definitely invite you out to a restaurant to reciprocate.[/quote]

This is what we do.  We just don't have the space in our condo for this - but we would invite you out to dinner to reciprocate.

That being said, I think OP needs to change her mindset.  You don't know what goes on in other people's lives.  Maybe they are poor, maybe they have a marriage on the rocks, maybe a sick relative at home.  Who knows!?  But, to put your belief and cultural system onto someone else - seems unfair.[/quote]

I am not sure that this is a "cultural belief" that when someone opens up their home to you and shows hospitality, the polite thing to do is to reciprocate [b]in some way[/b]. It seems that you do this by taking people out. Others have other ways of reciprocating. Just something to make the other person feel valued and appreciated. 
[/quote]

Well, I'm not from this "culture" so I am very careful not to impose my standards on others (as it appears OP is doing).  While it is polite to reciprocate in some way, OP seems fixated on being invited over to other peoples homes or "counting this for that"

Where I am from, you give not to receive but because you enjoy giving and cherish your friends.  That may not be the custom where OP is from or here in the US.  It seems here you keep a score card on who gave what to whom and how much. [/quote]

We had a couple over not too long ago who we have known for a few years. I made dinner, we had a fun time. But it's probably been over six months and I have not heard from this person. Didn't get a thank you email. Nothing. Radio silence. I know this person is alive and well, because we are FB friends and we have other mutual friends. You seem like you would not be hurt at all by this. You would just be happy that you got to spend that one evening with your friend? That's really remarkable. How do you do it?

[/quote]

You haven't heard from your friend in 6 months?  I would be extremely worried about them.  You have made this about you - and not receiving a thank you.

What about your friend?  Have you wondered what has gone on in their life to make them drop off like that for 6 months?  Are you close?  Do you normally have regular communication - so this is not normal?  Have you reached out to ask if they are ok?  Could there be an illness in the family?

I would be concerned that something is wrong with my friend and reach out to see if they need my help.  As to "How do I do it?" - I assume you mean, how do I see the best in people?  I would ask you...doesn't it pain you to always assume the worst?[/quote]

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