Reply to What to Say After Tonight's Defeat that Concludes a Bad Season (5th Gr Boy Rec Basketball)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son plays basketball. He's on a development team (first time playing basketball as a team sport). They suck...really bad.

I'm very honest with my son (who is one of the star players, which isn't saying much). I tell him where he/they could have done better, things to watch/try to improve in the next game, etc. I don't BS him. He wants to win, I want him to win and I try to show him ways to improve his game. He's gotten a LOT better and more aggressive as the season went on, but I doubt the team will win a game. They really do suck. [/quote]

Just curious- how old is he?[/quote]

12[/quote]

fwiw- 12 is pretty late to start playing organized, team basketball.  So one issue may be that the developmental team is in a league that's too advanced.  Additionally, many "good teams" are dominated by one or two kids who are 8-11 months older than the rest of the kids.  That really doesn't make the team any damn good, eventually kids can't get by on athleticism and by HS, they're just another guy who didn't work on their game.  A lot of rec league games are won and lost by the end of the bench too- a team with 8 decent players can smoke a team with 2 good players, 4 decent players, and 6 kids who can't walk and chew gum, especially when teams press.  ugh- BTDT.

But yes, it can be very difficult being on a team that is overmatched all season long.  If he likes the sport, focus on praising him for the things he does well.  If he's not a good scorer he may be great at setting screens, boxing out, or help defense.  Ask him what he would like to improve in the offseason and encourage some summer camps.  If he's friends with any of his teammates, see if they are interested in offseason work together.  The bulk of improvement really comes in between seasons, summer pick up games can be key.

You could also approach the MS coaches and ask for suggestions.  If he's interested in playing basketball in MS and HS, he likely will have to be above average in at least one aspect of the game.  Can he be the best ball handler (dribbling and passing)?  If so, he could focus on playing PG.  If he's got confidence in his shot, he could get minutes at the wing.  If he's willing to bang around inside (regardless of height) he can get time as a big.  If he lacks "skill" but is a decent athlete, have him focus on being a willing, high energy defender.

I think your approach is a good one- be totally honest with him.  Just make sure you point out the things he did really well.  I personally tried to praise the assist, screen, or fundamental box-out rather than the high volume chucker who scored 12 points on 20 shots.  So if he likes the game, have him look ahead at the bigger picture and how he can fit into his school TEAM.  Yes, his first rec league team sucks donkey balls.  It makes for a loooooong winter.  But look ahead a bit and set some goals to improve specific skills and try to make his 7th grade school team.

Trust me when I say that he won't care about losing these games in a couple years.  What he'll remember is varsity.  Honestly assess what he is good at and help him set some longer term goals.  So this is where winning and losing shouldn't be the primary focus- just have fun playing the game and don't have a myopic view of a rec league season.  [/quote]

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