Reply to What to Say After Tonight's Defeat that Concludes a Bad Season (5th Gr Boy Rec Basketball)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the "I love to watch you play." is good. Otherwise, OP, don't say anything. Or if you must say something, say "I'm sorry you are feeling so disappointed." or something.

Really, that's all it's about. If he continues to go on about it, I'd tell him off. I'd tell him to stop wallowing and get over it. He played how he played. Don't let him blame others. Put it in perspective if you must. Christ, it's just a game. [b]Tell him to be glad that's his biggest problem, and that if he's going to make such a fuss about losing maybe he's not cut out to play sports. [/b][/quote]

Wow, that is awful. People's feelings don't change just because you told them to feel differently.

Your first paragraph was spot-on. Your second one . . . look, I get how that would be happening in your head, but you need to keep it there. If you can't take any more, "I know you're feeling down, but you have three more minutes of venting and then you need to talk about something else, or nothing, because I don't think it's helping you."[/quote]

I was that PP, and you're right, your phrasing is better. I just have no patience when people throw huge, long-lasting hissy fits over losing at sports. The whole thing about sports is that someone wins and someone loses. Do people honestly think they can get by without ever being on the losing side? But I wouldn't say that that meant he wasn't cut out to play sports. But I think I would have said I wasn't going to listen to any more self-bashing or blaming others, and suggest he let it go. I think your saying that it's not helping him is good. 
    And I do have patience with a little bit of unhappiness with losing. As the other mom said, at that point you can say you admire their drive/dedication. Their passion. But if it goes on and on, it's just wallowing, which is annoying. And to me it shows a lack of awareness of what sports are really all about. I think the OP was talking about the kind of wallowing that goes on longer than is reasonable.[/quote]

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