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[quote=Anonymous]OP, here's the bottom line.  Many times one person ends up being the main breadwinner.  It's not every couple where both have high-powered high-paying jobs (which comes with its own stressors).  In my case, I am the primary breadwinner.  It's hard.  And it's stressful as fuck.
And it gives me a lot more understanding of the pressures that men have felt since time immemorial.  Yes, the system has always supported men's achievement over women's, but the pressures to provide are still the same.

The difference, in my mind, is how each spouse handles it.  In my case, my DH is working PT, getting an MBA PT, and he understands how I feel.  It's hard for him to accept that I am the primary breadwinner (he's over it now, for the most part, though it wasn't by choice or design), and it's been hard for me to adjust to having most of the financial weight on my shoulders and deal with the stress of my job and all of the needs I have to fulfill at home.  But he definitely picks up the slack at home and with our child.  He is a partner.

You two have to be in this together.  Yes, your DH needs to apply himself to finding a job and stop expecting something to drop into his lap.  If he is at a Top 20 program he needs to be networking with alumni and putting on the hustle.  He needs to understand the pressure that you feel.  And you need to understand how he's feeling (likely a different kind of pressure).  Be kind to each other.  Work as a team.  [/quote]

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