Reply to My husband's ex has been bad-mouthing me to him

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Reply to "My husband's ex has been bad-mouthing me to him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, you can be the kind of stepmom who pitches in, covers for others, etc., and have that kind of relationship with the kids.  Or you can be the kind who doesn't, and that's a different type of relationship with the kids.  I totally understand how people would want the second kind-- no judgment from me!  But understand that it really is different.  So if you want a close relationship with the kids, choose the first because that's what you want for yourself-- not because you're trying to keep anyone else happy.[/quote]

This is the hard part about being a stepmom: you can give 125% to have the kind of relationship with the kids that a fraction of that effort would earn a parent.  And still get nothing but a could shoulder or worse from the kids.  I met my DH years after his ex left him, waited 4 years to marry him so his daughter would be his focus until he graduated, and have gone out of my way to be extraordinarily kind and welcoming to his ex, for whom he does a huge amount of favors.  To his daughter I have been supportive, kind, attentive, and respectful of her need for time with her dad.  And I have gotten nothing but nastiness from the ex and chilly politeness from my stepdaughter coupled with insults and bitching over social media (that she keeps public) and Nast comments at our wedding.  I have gone above and beyond and still get a shit sandwich.  There is no relationship at all between effort and reward.

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Probably shouldn't have married him. You basically signed up for a lifetime of bad treatment.[/quote]

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