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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Will explore summer school. Not happy about paying for it, so she will need to get a job and finance it herself for any classes she fails as a final grade.

All of my other children (including older DD) do well in school. Dealing with a teen who is not academically motivated is exhausting. I can't fathom not caring about being dumb ( or at least having grades that reflect not being smart). [/quote]

First of all, going from middle of the road grades to 5 E's is a REALLY dramatic downturn.  Something happened this quarter that took an average student and made her entirely give up.  You need to find out what that is.  Having scorn and derision and disgust for her is not going to get her to open up to you.

Secondly, a person can be incredibly smart and have a successful life, both financially and socially, without being at all academically motivated.  I got full scholarships to a top private college and graduated Phi Beta Kappa.  My brother dropped out of high school, got a GED, and became a diesel mechanic.  He earned more than I do.  Fairly significantly more.

Your daughter could make big bucks as a plumber or a home inspector or an HVAC contractor or a makeup artist.

I'm the earlier PP who advocated taking away the phone, grounding, etc. but the  more I read of your tone toward her, and the information about the dramatic downturn this quarter, suggests to me that YOU need therapy, and the two of you need it together.  You need to accept that your daughter is not like your other children.  She has different strengths.  You need her to open up to you so you can figure out what happened this quarter to make her completely give up on the minimum at school.  And you need to stop projecting a doomsday scenario about academics.  There are other options in life.  It would be best if you could work as her mentor and partner and help her make a plan.  That includes holding her accountable, like making her pay for summer school if she flunks classes entirely, but it also means being her advocate and support when she is going through a hard time emotionally.  The sad thing is you sound like you just don't like her, and it will be impossible for her to open up to you if she knows that in her bones.[/quote]

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