Reply to Consequences for failing school

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Consequences for failing school"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]

OP - Indicating that you are a two parent family with higher achieving siblings and that your daughter who seems to be going against the family grain and is a sophomore is somewhat helpful.  It sounds to me that it is important for you and DH to spend some quality and extra time with this child and to really try "to listen" to what she sees herself as a student and as a person.  And try and remind yourselves that just because someone might take a different path in life does not make them a failure.

Why not set up a session with her guidance counselor so that you could have a neutral and informed person tell maybe both you, the parents, and your daughter what options there would be for her in terms of completing her education and still be eligible to go to college in the future most likely via the community college route.  Are you aware that if one goes to a community college now in most states there are built in transfer options to the top tier state colleges such as UVA and William Mary as well as others?  Try and take any external family or internal - "I'm dumb" pressures and attitude off of her shoulders.  If she can see she still has a higher ed option, perhaps this will help her to invest the extra effort which it just might take her.   I would also ask the guidance counselor for information on  more work related paths within her high school to become knowledgeable about them, too.  Additionally, if she has an obviously hard area of study say math or science, can she try taking or retaking that course in summer school to focus on and get through the sequence. [b] You want to take to take off the immediate excuse in attitude or feelings of failure AND to give her the time in the future to mature and come to understand the importance of grades.  You an DH need to also understand there is more than one way to get into college or even job train after high school[/b]

If you even think there might be a mental health aspect to her attitude and behavior, I urge you to get her a screening with a woman therapist.  And, I recognize this might be an unknown territory that you and DH may have been avoiding even going to.  However, having done this ourselves, I can only tell you it only puts off the grief and frustration of dealing with issues into the future.  And, again this could start with a phsycial with her PCP AND a call to look for iissues to perhaps have the doctor suggest a screening.

Depending on how your family has operated, I would not hold this teen suddenly to greater expectations of household responsibilities than the others or it will purely punitive.  However, what other parents of teens have brought up is an issue of "positive time management," and this should be a topic of conversation as soon as possible.  There needs to be a positive direction found for her in life besides "holding a seat in class" and "sitting in front of a screen or phone" at home.   How you do this you may just need outside family counseling but somehow to give her choices of part-time job with a plan on where earnings go, limiting screen/phone time until the effort is there in the classes, engaging in some volunteer or church group activity regularly if not  a school related group etc.  For any siblings at home perhaps engaging them all more in the running of the household - something so that you can start to give her positive feedback.

And, I do agree you have a big card to play for "progress" in her defining and getting moving on goals of interest to her which are healthy and positive - driver's ed training, then a license and then use of a family car.  Notice I did not say her own car because that is a privilege that she will have to earn.  Partly this sounds like maybe the first time you and DH have had to really work hard on parenting.  I do hope you are game for it and willing to get outside professional input because your daughter's future is depending on it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics