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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My middle school boy has a phone but we have the "Mom pays for this; Mom has all passwords and can check contents and activity at will" rule along with a lot of parental controls.  I highly recommend you implement similar rules immediately, before your daughter gets sucked into the nastier side of internet-enabled portable devices.  (Oh, and make damned sure she does not have Snapchat installed on there.)

My son has had a "girlfriend" of sorts for a while, but they don't text each other because she doesn't have a phone.  Really, they are just best friends who have verbally expressed their mutual crush on each other and made some nebulous plans to run away together and get married when they turn 16.  They go to the movies together, hang out at each other's houses a lot, and are joined at the hip at school, but they're not really physical.  I've seen them hold hands once or twice, I know they've never kissed, and most of their touching tends toward the tickling/wrestling (she's a bit of a tomboy).

Their schoolmates tease them about their relationship relentlessly, but I think it's mostly envy -- they are the first in their class to have a mutual instead of unrequited crush.  Frankly, I really like the girl and think there's a lot worse things my son could be doing than spending time with her.  I do worry that they'll eventually hurt one another, but that's part of growing up.  I just hate to see it happen; they're both good kids.[/quote]

I'm the pp with the 16 year old. My DS got instagram at 14, my youngest now 12 has instagram too but is not as attached to it. The oldest set the pace usually. Anyway, the pandora's box has been open. From what I have seen I don't think parents can reliably mediate their children social media lives even at 12/13. You have to constantly reinforce your family values and hope for the best. I have patrolled all my children's access to social media: Instagram, Snapchat, Kik, Vine, Twitter, Yik Yak, Ask/FM, Oovoo, Tumblr, again you cannot control what is streaming in and not just from their friends, the sites sometimes get hacked and something vulgar will pipe in. You can buy some time but you cannot isolate them. Instagram and the likes are like hanging out at the park for the kids. By 7th for sure by 8th grade, no one will relate to you unless you're on social media. [/quote]

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