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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And I'm only 19 weeks! Also a FTM.  DH's parents are divorced and DH's step mom is a lactation consultant and L/D nurse.  She has offered to take two weeks off work, have us stay with them and help us become comfortable with a newborn and ensure successful breastfeeding. I was really happy about this because I was already worried about the first few days as a FTM. Ive never really been a baby person either.

We told the family the plan, that we will stay at Step MIL's and FIL's first week or so after baby is born.  They are welcome to come over but we feel most comfortable if it's not all day or all at once until DH and I feel we know more what we're doing.

MIL and my mother are complaining that as the grandparents they are getting left out, and will treat  DH's step mom as the hired help and that they also are experts with newborns (with their youngest baby now 29 years old).

I just can't take the nastiness and fighting anymore. It's only 10 days! Why can't the family agree that this is what's best for a FTM and newborn, there will be plenty of opportunities to love and share this baby and we are lucky we have this knowledge in the family!

Any advice? 
[/quote]

A) I don't think you'll find staying in someone else's home for 2 weeks as helpful as you think you will.
B) Put yourself in their shoes . . . Of course they feel slighted.  The in-law lactation consultant can just as easily provide the help in your own home. I, personally, would guess she seized on the situation and her role and used it to their advantage. But, I'm a cynic.
C) Going forward, you are going to have to expect the vying for attention of the grandparents.  Realize it comes form a place of love.  Also, realize you need to set some boundaries.  I just don't think this is a good one to set with everything so new and raw (they are excited and anxious).
Good luck.[/quote]

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