Reply to Don't stay together "for the kids"

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Reply to "Don't stay together "for the kids""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On the other hand, I can't think of a single reason better to do anything than for the kids. If your marriage is simply lackluster and takes work, do it. Your kids don't care about you following your bliss. If you can't do the work or work would not help, then by all means, divorce. But know that barring abuse, mental or physical or addiction or infidelity, it is a sub optimal choice.
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I unfortunately can identify with many of the reasons in the article.  Because of that I feel very strongly about NOT staying together "for the kids". That doesn't mean you cut bait at the first sign of trouble.  I think you work on the marriage and you work on yourself and you may feel a stronger incentive to do both "for the sake of the kids".  But if both sides can't agree that it is worth trying to fix the marriage, I just don't see how people can compartmentalize and "be happy" when you know the other person doesn't want to be married to you any longer and may be living his/her life as a single person while married.  I think it is the rare person that will put their kids first meaning no outside relationship, no taking out unhappiness or frustrations on kids, no putting kids in the middle, putting on a happy face and co-parenting well when they don't want to be married anymore and are staying married for the kids. I think if both parties were capable of that type of behavior, short of sexual attraction, they could have improved the marriage.[/quote]

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