Reply to I want ILs to stay in a hotel, DH won't budge

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Reply to "I want ILs to stay in a hotel, DH won't budge"

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[quote=Anonymous]You are not being mean.  Why do some of you PPs think OP is being mean?  She hasn't *done* anything yet.

Since your DH won't budge, you must take over the communication with the ILs from him.  (I know this because my ILs consult with my DH and suddenly they are coming and I was none the wiser)  You have to get your DH out of the middle because he's a shitty middle-man and won't say no to his parents

(btw many, many, nice DHs fall into this category of lame-when-dealing-with-their-parents, including my DH.  Especially if your parents live nearby and theirs don't.  They are dealing with the guilt of that)

So you make it so you are the one communicating with them about when they can visit next.  You start spreading it out a little…they want to come (Week 4) and you say it's a bad time because of X, so let's plan on (Week 5).

Then you keep spreading it out a little.

Not ideal, but it's a step in the right direction.  Then I also agree with PPs that you stop doing everything. Order out more.  Don't worry about the money, consider it an investment in your marriage because it keeps you from killing your DH.  If he complains about the money, tell him why you are doing it, unless he wants to do the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning.

I feel for you, OP!  Be thankful that they are not living nearby; it could be worse.[/quote]

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