Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Back 20 years ago, as a freshman in hs, I was kicked off of varsity field hockey because I chose to attend a family event rather than a tournament. It was not a special tournament and I was not given an ultimatum by the coach like if you attend then.... I was told I was no longer a member of the team when I went to see her to let her know I would be missing the tournament. It was a complete shock to me and my parents. Most of my ream went on to play field hockey on scholarship in college- big ramifications for me. In the end, it worked out fine but I really missed being on the team since they were most of my close friends.

That being said, kids sports are completely absurd. I feel for you, try to handle it gracefully.  Congrats on your big day![/quote]

I think people who are responding that the nephew and his mother are crazy have either never played serious high school sports themselves or don't have kids who do.  I have little kids, but 25 years ago this is also what it was like for me at the varsity level.  You don't miss games.  A lot of people sacrifice a lot for these teams - to play in them, to coach them, to support them.  I understand how it seems trivial, but in the moment to those participating it is not trivial.  And the experience of playing sports at this level has real value, btw.  Or at least I believe it does and it can shape who these young adults become as a person.  To get on my soapbox for a moment, I think it's particularly great for young women.

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I played a sport at an ACC college and felt it was important of course at the time and very valuable.  However, a high school game or tournament over a close family member's wedding though…NO WAY.  You could convince me if it was the state championships, and for college matches they are of course less forgiving (they're giving you a full scholarship after all).  Otherwise, this just tells me people are nuts.[/quote]

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