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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I didn't read the thread, but just your original post. I could've written this myself. But with me, more than afraid of the divorce bug, my ex lied about me, extensively. And people stayed away. And when I finally got the courage to stop being in such a depressed, ruined state and made friends, I didn't make many good ones. Recently, one, out of the blew, decided to form a "mean girls pack" where they are all ignoring me at work because I am "negative." I would take that if I were. I'm very self-aware. I'm not super upbeat and up for 15 shots every night, but I never put anyone done for their looks , BF, relationships, life, etc. When they constantly make judgments about my choice in coffee, what I did with the one and failed relationship I had after my ex. What I wear, how I eat, etc. They keep point out what's wrong with me. The point of mentioning my side is I empathize. This is sooo fucking lonely. And having people around you not be understanding or supportive is awful.

I dunno what the solution is. I tried meetup just to meet people. I've met a few good people on there, but we don't hang out often. I don't really have a good support network where i fit near. I'm desperate for some good company. Family doesn't live on the same continent, let alone anywhere near. All my friends from college are over the world. I feel so goddamn alone. But i notice, when I do, we give off that vibe. We give off the alone and lonely, maybe even depressed vibe. And it makes us even less desirable. No one wants that. And it hurts. I want someone to hug me, to take the fucking pain away. The pain of mental and emotional abuse, of being left alone to fend myself in the world, but i'm realizing, people don't like burdens, and they don't want that.

Before I turn this all about myself, like an asshole, I want to say, I completely understand. You should realize that the world is harsh, and you're in a hard place. Try to be kind to yourself. Work on thinking about you as a wholesome but workable project. If you were to date you, what would you like, what would you improve. If you were to friend you, the same.

Also, focus on those who *do* love you. Send them gifts, notes, etc. About them not you. Touch someone gently with a note or coffee, etc. It comes back.

I really don't have it figured out. Some days are so damn dark. But you have to keep trying. So one day, and that day will come in one way or another, your kids come to you for advice because they're struggling making friends, or feel unloved, you can tell them you did too, you made it and how.

BIG HUGS. I think you're awesome. And I am sending you cheesy corny love. [/quote]

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