Reply to DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I fixated on someone too in my fantasies, he just wasn't really attainable (a work acquaintance, not someone I ever spend time alone with).  During the lowest of times, if the opportunity had arisen...  At any rate, you asked about therapy.  DH is willingly going, but I went to see someone myself for a few months first - I thought it was only fair to get my own house in order before making him face me, because I have a boatload of anger, distrust, etc.  I now have a much better idea of what I want from marriage - a lot of it is what you describe - emotional connection and a sex life (haven't had one in years!), although I'm not sure what it will take to get back there or whether we will.  We'll just have to see how it goes.  I[b] honestly dont think we'll ever get back to a good sex life, but the rest maybe...[/b]

FWIW, once I got through my "I should have an affair - it would serve him right for sneaking around, lying, hiding things from me, and meanwhile being completely unavailable" phase (not that it doesn't resurface but at least I'm not justifying it to myself anymore), what I've come to is this (YMMV):  my husband is a stranger to me but he's not mean or abusive, he's a good dad, he does his share with the kids and around the house, and [b]I dont really think I would be better off without him because I'm too old and too busy with work and kids to have much of a chance at finding love again.[/b]  [/quote]

Not the focus of this topic and I know OP said you were giving her hope but this seems sad.  Not even a good sex life? Are you too old?  50?  45? Younger?  You're at least setting what seems to be very low expectations for your personal life going forward.  I hope DH is worth it.  And good luck, I do mean that.[/quote]

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