Reply to When one spouse wants to leave DC and one doesn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again, I know all of this in my rational mind. It's just suddenly hitting me very hard that my parents are aging and I may never live locally to them again. Same with my sister who just had a baby. I am jealous my husband gets this with his family.

I am fine with my house/neighborhood. DH is a good father and husband, except that I don't see him budging in this. We try to make it down every 4-6 weeks. Can't see going more than that right now. My parents come up a decent amount as well.

I just feel...stuck.[/quote]

RVA native here, and my entire family is still there. I've been in NOVA now for 15+ years. I always thought when we moved up here for work we would eventually move back when we had kids. TONS of my childhood friends with whom I keep in touch have moved back, are raising families, living in the west end, sending their kids to our old school, going to the club, carrying on the same traditions I had as a child. So I can understand the fantasy of how nice it would be to be back there, living that dream with them.  DH said he would be fine moving back there but his speciality isn't in RVA and he would never be able to find a job, and he's right.  He would have to start over in his career.  If I pushed him enough, I am sure he would agree to do it.

BUT then I go back for a weekend and visit, and realize I have outgrown the city. I am not the same person, but unfortunately it is still the same town in all ways. I was just there 2 weeks ago. Richmond is still the land of the uber conservatives. Sure, VCU has exploded and there are tons of bearded hipsters and tattoos in Carytown/Museum/District/the Fan (take your pick, seriously, it's like the tattoo capital, google it).  However, the politics are still the same, very conservative (their rep in Congress is now a RMC prof tea partier), many feel that McDonnell shouldn't have gotten jail time, the area is NOT diverse at all, and your dollar won't go as far as you think.  If you are a republican, and that's cool if you are, and have what FoxNews labels as "traditional" values, like to hunt, shop at J McLaughlin, are excited for Lily at Target coming out this Spring, then you might really like it. But it hasn't changed at all as far as the social structure and it kind of bums me out. I had romanticized how wonderful it would be for my kids to go to my old school, my old church, live down the street from my old best friend and her kids, but often the reality is much different.

DON'T move Fredericksburg, just no.  If you are really from Richmond, you'll understand why.

Sugar Shack is opening in Alexandria soon, so you can always go there to get a taste of Richmond.[/quote]

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