Reply to Divorce - what to look out for?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - so many great tips everyone! [b] Honestly STBXH couldn't care less about custody[/b], he travels constantly for work and likes to play the fun parent about once every two weeks and knows that having the kids would cramp his style.  I don't care about our house and don't make tons of money, but as long as I can live don't care about his money.  He earned it he can have it - he agreed to pay for daycare as needed and that's all I need.
He says he doesn't mind if we relocate and will even help financially if we need it.  He can't wait to move on honestly, which works for me.  Whatever makes it easier.  I'm mostly worried about holidays, but don't want to start splitting hairs before I get custody.

The therapy and flexibility tips are especially helpful - I'd be so sad if my kids wanted to go live with him but it makes perfect sense to not make it a battle because it's really not fair to the kids.[/quote]

This may change later. I cannot stress this enough. Do not underestimate the changes people undergo after a divorce. My husband's father and and two of my friends' husbands were the same way--until they remarried and wanted to play happy family again. All of a sudden, they wanted to be full-time fathers and waged vicious custody battles. Two of the cases involved long-distance and relocation issues. Holidays are the least of it.

I've been through my own divorce (without children, luckily), and I know that my own emotions waxed and waned. Most of the time, I just wanted to get through it quickly and move on. Looking back, I think I was in a bit of an emotional fog. Short and sweet is often not the best approach. When children are involved, you don't have the privilege of being short-sited.

Good luck. [/quote]

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