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[quote=Anonymous]OP has hit the nail on the head for me. As a guy who started dating again over four years ago after a LTR, I had the same dilemma. Like you OP it was a bit clumsy for me, that is why I really have long celibate spells these days. I have a few suggestions though:

1. Goes without saying that condoms are a MUST. Take your own condoms and use (her) sex toys.  
 
2. Never give oral sex the first time. Only give oral after the 3rd or 4th time sleeping together when you are more comfortable talking about exclusivity, previous sex partners, etc. I normally just tease around the inner neck of the thighs and outside labia the 1st time. It is a sure way of getting her aroused just the same, and also a way of smelling if anything is off with her. Trust me, it works. You could also be more innovative by buying a 'pocket rocket' vibrator if she does not have sex toys. If your own, convince her that you want to experiment with her (and that it's brand new or thoroughly cleaned!)  :lol: That's a good and fail-safe substitution for oral.

3. If she offers to give you oral (which for most women is unlikely until you are exclusive), come up with an excuse that you don't like it that much, or at least make sure there are no bruises on your manhood. The risk of herpes transmission is only there if she has a visible outbreak I think, so you should be fine.

4. Go get tested together. Women will think it's sweet and secure for you to go with them, even if you got tested very recently. Re-testing is a good way to communicate to them that you are serious about them, or at least serious about having sex with them on the regular. Women normally like that stuff.

5. Avoid dating women who drink and smoke excessively. I am not stigmatizing here, but the chances are that they MAY be more casual in their sexual encounters and MIGHT usually do ONS frequently.

Have fun safely, life is so short![/quote]

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