Reply to please help me write a clever online dating profile

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "please help me write a clever online dating profile"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The issue is not the profile, its the men. And you've been out of the dating scene for a while, so you may have a harder time discerning who is serious.

in general, I'd look for men who are divorced/widowed (at your age, the never marrieds all have commitment issues), with kids, and who want to take it slow because they don't have a lot of time either.

then I'd not get too serious with anyone until they seem serious.

also, did they dump you immediately after the first time you had sex? or just after a while? [/quoting

They dumped me after awhile after we had sex, with the exception of one guy who dumped me (didn't have the decency to call or text me) after the second time we had sex.  It is a really low feeling.  I feel very used and I want to put an end to datling these kinds of guys.[/quote]

If the last comment is you, OP, you can't "put an end to dating these kinds of guys" - because [b]they are not all the same kind of guy[/b].

You said that one guy dumped you after the second time you had sex without calling or texting. Yes, he sounds like a dirtbag, and I can understand not wanting to date dirtbags. So let's exclude him from the rest of this discussion, and just focus on the other guys, and what you've said.

The others, you say, broke up with you 'awhile' after you had sex. These breakups had nothing to do with the sex. They dated you for months after you started sleeping together, and for whatever reasons found incompatibilities. That's what dating is. No one is obligated to continue to date you indefinitely because you slept with them. They are allowed to change their months after months of getting to know you more.

A guy breaking up with you months after you mutually choose to begin a sexual relationship is not you being used. It's him having the right to decide on how right (or wrong) he thinks you are for his future. If you were younger, or sleeping with men very quickly, I'd say to hold off on sex longer, but you should be mature enough, and it doesn't sound like you're rushing into physical relationships.

Your question and the way you're thinking about this are all wrong. You think if you wrote a different type of profile, you'd get what, a man who will know before he sleeps with you (within a couple of months) that he'll never leave you? That's not how dating works. People are allowed to change their minds, and decide you're not for them, and it doesn't mean they don't want an LTR, or are only looking for sex. If you're feeling so badly (and particularly, as you say, used) after these breakups, I think you need to stop dating altogether for awhile until you're in a different place emotionally.

I say this as a single woman, BTW. [/quote]

You are right, PP!  I think one of the reasons I feel used is that I have no closure from these guys.  All of a sudden I stop hearing from them without any warning - they stop all forms of communication with me and leave me hanging.  I understand that they might lose interest in me and don't want to date me anymore, however, I feel they are lacking class by not telling me they are done with the relationship.  It is one thing if it happened once, but it has happened three times now.  These are 40 + year old guys and I would not have expected such behavior from them.   I want to stop dating children so I thought changing my profile would help with that.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics