Reply to How to tell DC that his grandmother is wrong (pretty much all the time).

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Has she already made these comments to your 2 year old? Or are you anticipating the nasty comments to start soon?

You have to deal with each comment as she says it. Correct her right there on the spot. Show your son you have his back and will stand up for him. Actions speak louder than words.[/quote]

[b]OP here - Yes, the "a monkey could put this puzzle together - you aren't concentrating" type comments have already begun[/b]. [/quote]

Oh,no this must be dealt with immediately.

MIL to 2 yr old grandson: A monkey could put this puzzle together. You aren't concentrating. 
You: Madge, could you come in the kitchen with me?
You: Husband, can you come in the kitchen? (Wait for husband to come)
You: Madge, Bill and I are very clear about this: our children will be raised in a positive, loving environment. You have many loving qualities and we want our son to have a positive relationship with his grandmother. However, if you choose to continue with demeaning comments like "A monkey could put this puzzle together" then we will choose to spend our time without you. It's that simple. I need to get back to spending time with our son. Please join us.

[/quote]
Way too much drama.

A simple "You are doing great, Larlo" is just as effective.  She's not going to change.

[/quote]

Yeah, don't do the big in-the-kitchen meeting.  She won't get it and won't change.  I know because my parents are like this (both of them!).  Everything is negative, and everything is always my fault (or my sibling's fault). The best example I can think of is one time when I was in my early 20s and driving my father somewhere. I was stopped at a stop sign when the woman behind me plowed into me.  I was stopped at a stop sign and she didn't stop, so rear-ended me.  [b]My father turned to me and said, "well, you chose this road."[/b]

I don't allow my child to be alone with them and try to run interference on the negativity when they're around. [/quote]

My mother and your father would get along perfectly, PP.  On the day of my wedding, I misplaced my engagement ring.  My mother not only refused to help me look for it but spent all of the time until I found it telling me that I was a jerk for putting it on the counter.

Yell at me after I found my engagement ring and cut me some f-ing slack on my wedding day, Mom!!!

TO OP - I run interference constantly when my mother is around my kids and yet I still want her approval.  Sick, right?  Issues for my therapist!  [/quote]

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