Reply to IL's think im rude for writing thank you notes

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I write thank you notes for all but close family and close friends.  I was taught that thank you notes were formal and that for those who you are close and more familiar that verbal thank yous are more appropriate.  A written thank you conveys that you feel they aren't close enough and treat them formally instead of familiarly.  It's similar to who you call beloved nicknames vs who you address more formally.  So, siblings, parents, very close family that we see regularly, or very lose friends, I don't send thank yous.  Others, I do.

Your in-laws may also feel similar and feel that you are treating them more formally and distantly by sending thank you notes instead of thanking them in person or calling them to thank them, which is how my family would convey gratitude if we were not there in person.  [/quote]

That's interesting. I was raised to send everyone thank you notes. Anyone else had the same experience as this PP?[/quote]

PP you are responding to.  To be clear, I am first generation American.  My naturalized parents are Chinese and the Chinese don't generally send thank you notes.  They adapted to American culture and sent out thank you notes except to family and close Chinese friends where the culture doesn't normally practice that form of courtesy.[/quote]

Oh, thank you! Ignorant of me to have assumed *my way* was universal. [/quote]

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