Reply to Around what age should children be told about the suicide of a grandparent?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is 22:27 again, the pp whose sister died.  You have done exactly what I did--when my son asked how my sister died, I simply said she was sick, the doctors tried to make her better, but they couldn't and she died. He didn't ask any additional questions and I didn't volunteer anything more.  In general I try to follow his cues--if he starts asking a lot of questions and if my answers aren't cutting it, then we will offer more information.  If he doesn't, I don't plan to, unless there's some other pressing reason.

It's hard to feel that this is weighing on you and your kids don't know the full truth, but I think you've handled it as well as you can, and you haven't lied to them.  And I think you are doing the best you can by them to wait and give them a chance to ask more.

To the pp whose cousin was murdered when you were 8, thank you so much for the point you made, counter to mine--that young kids can't always handle and process this information.  Can I ask, what do you wish your parents or other relatives had told you?  What would have made it easier for you?  Were you asking questions that they answered honestly, or did they give you a lot of info you were not seeking out?  My struggle is what to do if my son starts asking more pointed questions--do I outright lie, or do I tell the truth?  I would love any advice you've got.[/quote]

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