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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this thread has gone predictably, but here is some actual advice from someone who has BTDT, I hope you are still reading.  My DH also has guns as a hobby, he shoots with friends at the range monthly, and is under no illusions about using them for defense against home invasions or such bullshit, which makes my life easier bc he's OK with the idea of keeping them out of the main living area. I personally hate the idea of having guns in the house and would rather we didn't because I know too much about suicide (in a former life I did research on mental health). But he is firm on it for his own reasons. Marriage, whaddya gonna do :)

If you go all "omg I hate guns lock them up up up" it is likely to backfire on you bc he'll think of safety as a thing that anti-gun people want to impose on him. So you have to learn to work with the gun culture here--there is a powerful strain of "safety first" within it and you have to get him tapped into that strain and not the black-helicopter, loaded-gun-in-glove-compartment-and-under-pillow strain. Read Gun Guys by Dan Baum to learn more. It's a great book for gun skeptics to learn about gun culture.

I treat it like any other safety issue. It's a known risk factor at our house and we are aware and take precautions, just as we would if we had a pool or stairs or a dog, just as we do around bathtime and in the car. Half of america owns guns and while people do die of "accidents," it's not millions of people dying of them, so it is possible to live safely with them. Oh and we answer friends' and pediatrician's questions honestly. The whole "OMG IT IS A SECRET! YOU HAVE NO BIZNESS KNOWING! I WILL LIE TO YOU EVERY TIME!" is what I'd call the "crazy" strain of gun culture. Anyone concerned about safety is fine talking about what they do to stay safe.

My advice to you is to accept this as his new thing and come to a peace with it to keep the lines of communication open. Get a basic level of familiarity with them yourself so when you do speak about safety you 1. know what you're talking about 2. are able to understand what he's talking about and 3. have credibility with him.  Nothing is more annoying than a person with no knowledge telling you, who does have knowledge, what you should do and how you should act (think Republicans and reproductive rights, white people telling blacks to get over racism already, etc).  SO don't be that person--get knowledge.  After you read the book (have I mentioned it is fabulous--IT IS FABULOUS), ask him to take you shooting so you know how to handle the dangerous tools in your house.

If you can even work with him a little on this hobby, keep him talking to you about it, keep the lines of communication open, it can help you keep him in the "safety first" camp and out of the crazies camp. [/quote]

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