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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry to hear OP- my DS had some problems in preschool too. A few hitting incidents and defiance. I agree with the posters recommending a dev pediatrician.

I wanted to say that it didn't end up as severe as I feared it would be-- turned out my son has some language impairments that he masked with long sentences and a big vocabulary.

We also suspect mild ADHD (un diagnosed as of yet).

My point is that preschool issues can seem quite dramatic and level out to something more mild as a child matures.

I smiled when you said "privileged." My DS comes from an environment that would be considered privileged- it didn't change his behavior one jot. [/quote]

NP here with find of the same issues as OP.

The post above about language rings a bell for my situation. Would you be willing to share what sort of language impairments could be masked by a big vocab and long sentences?[/quote]

Expressive/ receptive language impairment-- primarily abstract language and social pragmatics. The best way way I can describe it is "spectrum" light. Poor social skills, exceptionally gifted IQ, and not great at attention regulation (often either locked in, or inattentive to tasks). Impulse control is much better but there are still a few issues. Except for the language impairment, he's undiagnosed. We're planning to keep it that way unless it's clear he needs the school support. [/quote]

Different PP with child who has gotten in trouble for what would be labelled "aggressive" behavior incidents, which are primarily due to language.  My DC has MERLD and high IQ and social pragmatic language difficulties, but is not anywhere "on the spectrum".  In our situation, the expressive language and social pragmatics are what contribute heavily to misunderstandings and stoke rising tempers instead of cooling them.  DC is quite verbal when speaking freely, and can talk at length with a large vocabulary.  But, DC has difficulty responding in situations that require highly on point and immediate responses and where the conversational circumstances also require interpretation of body language and tone of voice.   DC told me the other day, it's like a stutterer who can curse bad words fluently but stutters when he has something he has to think about saying.   When DC has to think more about what to say, DC becomes more tongue-tied.

Examples would be -- a teacher who asks him why he did something and he isn't able to respond immediately, so the teacher interprets that his silence as sullen indifference, rather than an internal struggle to get the explanation out.   Or a teacher says, "why did you hurt X" and he says, "I didn't do it."  When he means he didn't mean to hurt someone or it wasn't on purpose but the teacher interprets it as "lying" because literally DC did do something.   DC also has a very short-hand way of saying sorry which comes off as insincere, and DC doesn't understand the body language and tone feedback he gets that this kind of apology isn't solving the problem.

I think most of this is due to the MERLD, but some could be ADD making it hard to attend to and organize all the elements of explicit and implicit speech that are being sent at the same time and creating difficulty organizing a properly sequential response.

All this is very deceptive because DC can be very chatty (if not with the correct grammar or words always), so no one imagines that language is the root of the problem.  If I had a penny for every speech/language person from the school system who did a superficial "language assessment" and said "everything is fine," I would be a rich woman.   A complete speech and language evaluation at the Lab School with a great SPL who answered tons of questions for me finally helped us understand the ways in which speech can cause behavior problems.

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