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[quote=Anonymous]OP I was in a similar position, but with my grandmother. I was incredibly close to her, moreso than my mother for the bulk of my childhood (my mother and I are too similar, we drive each other crazy, and my grandmother after raising my mother and being married to my grandfather - our source of crazy - just knows how to be there). We're still paying off my student loans, but for us it was waiting until I was out of school (I was a returning student pursuing my second bachelors). I would've been out when the child was born, but I really needed to get a job first.

DH had the level head, I was too emotionally involved in the situation (for obvious reasons). We did wait, and while it very much makes me sad that she didn't get to meet my daughter, DD was born with a birth mark at the base of her neck, so we like to say my grandmother met DD before us. Also when comparing pictures of my grandmother at 2 and DD now, they are strikingly similar.

You're trying to make an impossible decision OP. The next few months will be stressful in general as your mother's health declines. If you really push for this it'll add stress to your marriage, your finances, and you may or may not be able to overcome. While I am still sad I couldn't get a picture with my daughter and grandmother, I know without question we did the right thing by waiting. Have your mother write letters to your future children, put together a book for you of questions you might have (start thinking of them now), etc. There's no reason you can't start looking at nurseries and what not to get her opinion now, even if you're years away. You can still have that experience, but without the baby coming immediately. [/quote]

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