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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow - I feel like this is my DH - thanks for sharing.  It's interesting that many DHs who find negativity in a lot have some history of depression.

I was doing laundry the other day and unrolling the sleeves of DHs shirts and said, "hey hon, when you put your shirts in the wash would you mind unrolling the sleeves? " (knowing him, I tried to phrase it as simply, nicely and non-nagging as possible and this is not something I've asked before, pre-thinking how I phrase things is a huge must).  It was a huge blow-up.  We were having a fine day prior to that with no issues so it wasn't like we were already on eggshells and then that.  
Am I asking all wrong?  Interested in thoughts!  Often I just do stuff myself because it's not worth figuring out how to get some help without offending him.[/quote]

This is my DH also. WTH to the posters suggesting an affair. I never thought of that before. I just thought he didn't like "being told what to do". It drives me crazy. He's worse than our teenager and I have no idea what to do about it.[/quote]

DH here. I often have issues with my DW's tone of voice...even when she doesn't intend anything. Most of the time it is MY issue rather than hers. I've had to learn to mentally take a step back and not go with my gut reaction but try to listen to the words. It has taken work and I'm by no means perfect and I'm still learning (at almost 40).

It sounds like you asked just fine and he reacted poorly. Does he make similar requests to you? How do you respond? I'm not saying that you are the problem, but he may be taking cues from you as part of his way of reacting. You definitely shouldn't have to prethink everything. What actually happened in this case?[/quote]

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